..something strange happened today

i had a panic attack. 2 actually and both thoroughly freaked me out. it's been ages since i last had one [which was during the a.madz exam].
what happens when i have a attack?
suddenly, i'll feel very jittery like there's too much adrenaline in my blood and no where to let it out. it gets quite hard to breath because my mind is suddenly overwhelmed by too many thoughts. it's horrid these thoughts, it's repititive and the longer it goes on and on, the more 'cramped' it feels up there and i get more panicky, at it's worst, i actually forget to breathe [this happened at least thrice during the maths exams]. but the thoughts are really the worse sia. its like this buzzing thing that goes on and on like a tape recorder on fast forward and it doesn't stop until i get out of the situation....it's terrifying at times and drives me insane! it fills my head until
there's no space for logical thinking. god.
*i sound like a deranged loon*
well, back to what happened today. i was at wisma with my friend and out of nowhere, i felt like there were too many people around me and the ceilings were much too close and i just HAD TO GET OUT O)F THERE! and my friend was like wait-this hat so nice, -ooh, look at this pendant and i really couldn't stand it!! i was jittering so much that i thing if i ws standing still, i would have been shaking. god. there were too many people around me, i couldn't breathe properly and i felt horribly trapped...and my friend totally didnt get it. i tink she thought i was merely bored.
oh god. im not usually claustrophobic. i mean come on! i used to spend ages in the skule toilet when we skipped pe/assembly...then when we finally reached open air, it was such a sense of relief....i felt like a.deflated balloon? the tension just left. phew.

then it happened again in the mrt on the way home. i was alone this time and though it was absolutely packed, it was NOT claustrophobia. this time, it was cuz i was late and my mudder was calling areddi and i knew my dad was home and the last time i was late, he screamed at me so loud, i realli had to applaud HDB for their strong ceilings. and THAT thought alone [no, not the HDB bit] was enuff to set me off into another panic attack. the jittery feeling came back, my heart started thumping and i was breathing in shallow, raggedy [?] breaths and my hands were shaking. god, what's happening to me??

im freaked out and i think im freaking out whoever else who is reading this entry as well. god.
am i truly going nutsy koo-koo?