Sunday, November 20, 2005

because i feel like it (condensed from jeanie)

What did you do the last time you were in school?
i kicked pw to the curb with finally getting OP over and done with! i think its kinda cool that nationwide, all jc students recognize the forementioned acronyms with much drear drudgery, but NO MORE HURRAH.

Who was the last who sent you an sms?
My primary school friend who's rather sad because she thinks that we won't go out for hari raya this year. that would be a...5 year tradition finally being broken.

Are you good in your studies?
I think i am, the examiners apparently think otherwise.

Who was the last who said "Love You"?
Hm. Actually, charmaine who said she loved me bestest after i passed her my mum's pineapple tarts. She's very easily bribed, that girl, and it would be completely shameful save for the fact that the reason why we are besties is because I AM EASILY BRIBED TOO. hurhur.

What do you call yourself?
Eville Overlord of the Mystic Realm of the Dusty Curtains. actually, despite the more popular(?) variation of my name that i go by with, in the moments that i am uh, talking to myself, i call myself yanti.

What song are you listening to now?
In my head, right now, Do You Wanna by franz ferdinand. and yes, just hey do ya, do ya do ya wanna hey do ya, do ya do ya wannahey do ya, do ya do ya wannahey do ya, do ya do ya wannahey do ya, do ya do ya wanna NEED TO GET FULL LYRICS NOW.

Are you in trouble?
Considering that i have NOT finished reading the THREE chapter long Heart of Darkness, - yes, it's that tough to get through - maybe.

Have you been HeartBroken before?
hehe. why the caps? oddly, i don't think so, no.

How many As do i think i can get?
Three please! somehow i will wrangle As for art, lit and gp. yes, i do take econs.

Missing Someone?

What day is today?
Sunday going on 4 minutes

Do kids love me?
Sometimes. Sometimes they hate me and don't want to play with me and i feel so horrible it's like kindergarten all over again.

Are you Caring, Loving and Tender?
hehe caps again! yes, but now you're making me feel like an overemotional slab of steak.

Friday, November 18, 2005

but i love being organized!

i've already thought about it and in my future place, i would separate my laundry according to dark, light, colour and to-be-handwashed not before it gets thrown in the laundry, but in the beginning baskets! i'm thinking four rattan baskets with lids arranged perfectly outside the toilets. such anal organization! i smile just thinking about it!

it's like how right now, the certain section of my wardrobe where you hang clothes is all hung according to colour. and no, this isn't just blue goes there, red goes there etc etc, but shade and nuances of colour are noted so it all blends from one colour into another and oh oh it is just brilliant.

its like how my t-shirts are arranged from white to gray and with much dismay, i had to jump to navy blue and then dark grey and finally black. and in the corner would be my bright yellow spongebob tee because i didn't know where to put it.

and the pens on my desk are in two canisters, colour then black&greyscale.

and the most enjoyable part of studying for me is getting all my notes in one big ring folder and then categorizing it with plastic sticky tabs and post-it notes. it is just so lovely to look at.

and in the daily planner that the school gave/sold us, i mark each day i meet up with a certain group of people with a different sticker. (the EBS is a ladybug.) realllly good days are marked with assorted puffy stickers of vintage vehicles.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

if i couldn't draw, i'd be writing a lot more bad prose and even worse poetry.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

i'm rather proud of these:

oh my lovely converse sneakers bought in malaysia at a steal.

here's the pitch - see, i'm getting rather broke nowadays what with all the funding art materials need as well as saving up for overseas ed. you've seen my work, and i think it's pretty decent and hey, i WANT to draw on your shoes if you'd like me to. for a nominal sum, though.

HENCE AND THEREFORE, prod me through the usual avenues and save me!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

i feel so freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

so this is what it feels like, not having anymore PW to be troubled with. even the air smells fresher.

actually, today's presentation was a control freak's nightmare, because something DID go wrong, and it was something that was beyond this freak's control. the speakers in the classroom did not work.

but we got over that, in about half an hour of staring at our toes, fiddling with our cue cards after giving up on twiddling with the wires and switches ourselves, and waiting for the chief technician, otherwise known to me and zara as The Administrator, to do his magic. not smooth sailing, but it went well enough.

you know how when you use school computers, and sometimes you want to do things like i don't know, illegal porn downloading programmes, this annoying pop-up comes up and reminds you that you are not the Administrator and therefore, should not have the audacity to feign such authority? yes well, zara and i once came up with this paranoid conspiracy theory about the truth of the Administrator's existence and to cut the story short, it went along with the plotline of the Matrix. but it's interesting isn't it, that at times, people yield to authority because we GIVE them the authority to exert that authority over us.

at least, that's how i see power as.

now that i am rather chatty, i think i'll give a full length reply to mel's tag in response to my art = comparatively trivial comment. i had a feeling that statement would illicit a response from her.

so here goes:

i admit that saying what i did, without justification (rather odd that i automatically feel the need to do this) - it was a strong statement i made. if i read it myself, on someone else's blog, i would feel a twinge too.

but you know, i still stand by what i said.

art by itself, is not trivial, and obviously, anyone who has the notion that the arts is a rather unneccesary aspect of life is for lack of finer terminology, an idiot.

the reason why i think that it at times pales in comparison to medicine is for the fact that doctors well, save lives. and that ability i feel subconsciously creates a link to our inner psyche that it is an ability that is god-like. the thing is i suppose, humans will unfailingly connect more immediately with the physical, the tangible - and life (or the absence of it) is rather tangible, and the mere fact that a doctor is able to do something that is semblance of what god can, is pretty amazing.

literature can be brilliant, and visual art..well, there's a reason why its in image form because the way good art can move you is almost undefinable in words. i think the arts enhances life and gives us that crucial connection with our emotional selves. but still, without a heartbeat, what's the point of being in touch with your heart?

(we can still argue on this if you want mel! or maybe after your As, hm.)


so that's that. i just watched 3-Iron with my dad's awesome sennheiser headphones (note to self, must watch eternal sunshine, yes again, with said headphones). my home's sound system never sounded so good!

anyway, i just wanted to say that we COULD have watched it without subtitles the last time janice's DVD remote control apparently refused to co-operate because guess what? THE MOVIE HAS HARDLY ANY DIALOGUE.

which is not a flaw in itself, but you know, just pointing it out. it WAS a good movie and perhaps, occupies its own spot in my mental shelf of Brilliant Love-centered Movies To Note. if moulin rouge was tragic, and eternal sunshine terribly poignant, 3-Iron would be enigmatic.

its the very silence of the protagonists that draws this tension, kind of like a guitar string being tightened and maybe my only half-whinge is that at times, it gets a bit tiresome waiting for that string to be finally plucked, and when it finally is, you're not that quite sure because it wasn't as mind-assailing as all that anticipation had lead you to believe.

that was a very long sentence.

because there was hardly any dialogue, its a given that they were very challenging roles for the actors (i can't remember korean names =\), and though i think the acting was very good in general, especially the actress who currently plays the japanese woman in Lost, it did have the tendency to have some moments that didn't quite ring through. the guy especially in his crazed moments at the end, and i don't fault him that he was not able to exactly pin-point what his character ought to be because that character is mystery personified, so how do you define something that is meant to be undefinable?

its a movie that did manage to capture an enigmatic atmosphere - when you're not completely sure why things are happening, but in a good way unlike an incredibly bad movie like Creep where i was too busy thinking 'wtf?' to be scared by the zombie-like apparition.

it was that it felt like a dream, and it being practically without speech very much contributed to this. you know how in dreams its not actual words that are spoken but just what i imagine to be a linear stream of emotions as dialogue? yes, that. and alike to dreams, you are just compelled to watch it because in its silence, you're in it.

Monday, November 07, 2005

everybody's falling ill,

my grandma's in the hospital with some odd fever of unknown cause that refuses to go away, and both my sister and brother have pretty high temperatures too.

i am officially Florence Nightingale until my dad comes home from work in a few hours. its one thing to fall ill yourself, but pretty scary watching everybody else being attacked by foreign pathogens. and rather scary too, when their depending on you to take care of them - not so for the siblings, cos that's probably just the common flu. but when it came to my grandma, when the other day it was just me and my mum with her, and she was really frail and my mum had to leave the room to get something, i was actually for a moment caught in this fear that something would happen, and oh god its only me in the room WHAT WOULD I DO.

and then i figured that i was the oldest kid in the family, so in the future, when a similar situation were to happen, i'd have to be the responsible one and i don't even know anything about hospital admission, or bills or Medisave/Medishield (yes, i know we learnt about it in social studies, but that is not the point!)

i hope i won't screw up.

then the other day, i accompanied my mum to the hospital, when they just sent my grandma there and seeing all the well-meaning but rather blur (it was 3am), i kinda realized: just what the hell am i doing?


just how in the world is that going to contribute to society, apart from making things aesthetically-pleasing, which when people are DYING, means nothing at all. so, i'm going to have to do something about that aspect, yes. i mean, i've thought about it before, in the hypothetical situation of scholarship interviews, and they ask 'how do you feel, can you contribute to society?'

and i would and still, draw a blank. it would, i suppose, help develop the growth of the design/art/culture environment in sterilesingapore, which is somewhat important, but relatively trivial in comparison.

so, i'm proud of you gennie the Future Doctor. i didn't use to really understand your sudden switch in careerpath, but i think now i do =)

my sister just yelled from upstairs for three ice-cubes, so i suppose she must be feeling better.

Friday, November 04, 2005

so, capital punishment huh.

isn't it just a little odd that the only time singapore's judicial system is thrown into the limelight is when it is being put into action against a non-singaporean. it's as if we deem it perfectly fine for our government to prosecute and execute its own citizen, but start to question the justification of our laws when it is applied to others.

i think that the case of australian drug trafficker being prosecuted here, and the case for the abolishment of capital punishment are rather different issues actually.

do i protest sole execution of the viet-australian? no. because as sad as his story may be, my stance stands firm that he made an informed choice when agreeing to carry the heroin knowing that singapore is well-known for being supremely cruel on matters like these. he made a calculated risk, and TOOK the risk and i would think it ridiculous not wanting to accept the consequences when you decided to risk it. so yes, on the basis that the law for capital punishment exists, and he knew about it, yes i think it logical (if cold) that he be prosecuted.

but whether the law should exist at all - now that's a different matter. ruling out capital punishment for murder cases (that's another barrel of fish), i do think that execution for drug trafficking is unjustifiably harsh based on the fact that the only evidence needed for prosecution is possesion. which, excuse me, is absolutely ridiculous since the likelihood of being wrongly charged with DEATH is incredibly high.

now, i'm not sure with singapore's judicial system, but my dad says that being prosecuted and convicted are two different things and that when it's a death penalty (how trivial, the word), they'll be uber-vigilant in ensuring that all reasonable doubt is cleared out but here's how i feel:

I DON'T KNOW. do you?

how many drug trafficking cases do you keep track off, and we don't actually KNOW whether they have some shred of mercy to check and fight for or whether they just shove you under that ugly label of being a drug trafficker because seriously, who in singapore's brilliant efficient beauracracy is willing to spare the effort and fight against the flow of efficiency? i'm more than willing to be proved wrong, but right now, i'm inclined to think that a system so clinical and thoroughly merciless, does not have the time to make sure that its right.

i know that seems like a dubious paradox and gosh, i hope i'm wrong.

capital punishment for drug trafficking is unjustifiably harsh - he doesn't really need to die. i understand that singapore has to take all effort in ensuring that we don't become a central trafficking port because of our oh-so-convenient geographical location but unlike murder where the shady, but existing logic of retributive penalties stands, the death penalty for trafficking seems like over-reacting. which, isn't too far from how singaporeans usually behave.

it could be argued, logically, that the drug trafficker does kill and ruin more lives than the one murder, but gosh, why not prosecute all the tobbaco companies then? they've killed a lot more people via lung cancer AND they get paid for it too. i think i'm going off-tangent -

should tobbaco companies be prosecuted! under the logic that in most countries, cannabis heroin marijuana is illegal, i don't see why not but hey, they're still standing making bajillions and bajillions of money out of people slowly killing themselves and others around them. the world is just odd, i'll give you all a call once i figure it out - don't hold your breath though.

so taking drugs is bad, smoking is bad, but so's refined sugar!

(i did a project on refined sugar in secondary four, and yeah it just kills your liver.)

[end tangent]

wait, lemme just take a sip of my coke.

now where was i?

Mr. Nguyen i think, has to accept the death sentence. that is the cold truth in this situation, and you know, the agenda behind the australian government's protest is that somebody in there, wants to put singapore in the humanitarian hot seat. a government, rather notorious for being racist, defending a vietnamese immigrant for a crime he is in most certainty guilty off? maybe it IS time that we be given this seat, but do i have a feeling nothings going to change.

but on a whole, and not based on his case, capital punishment for trafficking needs to be reviewed. after all, rapists are let loose back into society after a few years.