i hate these "i feel ugly/stupid" days.

i suppose it's due to my riding the crimson tide. it's really horrid this month. the cramps are really killer and they don't really fade away. at it's best, they linger in a really annoying way. hah, it rhymes!

ergh, and i really hate my mood swings. i know it's completely unfair for those around me to endure them. one moment i'm hyperactive and all yibber-yabber and the next, i become this sullen, snarly person.
actually, this happens a lot already on normal days but it really becomes worse when i'm hormonally unstable as well.
it's quite funny how i can suddenly go all Hyde. what happens is a certain rather neutral thought catches a snag on my brain and i dwell on it and the more i do, the more negative it warps.

i am muchos pathetic, no?

and the thing is in my dark periods, i consciously KNOW that i have no right to behave so childishly and that i should probably kick myself in the arse. i KNOW that all i am is being immature and petty and then i can't stand myself.

so what's today's point of depression? see title.

well, yeah! i know it' so typical teen angst and its eye-roll inducing because it's not like im DUMB and/or butt-ugly. how is it possible then that i so sincerely feel so?