Wednesday, March 03, 2004

it's still unfair

there.

my last angsty note on the whole UN Conference affair. i hereby vow not to dwell on it anymore and not to complain about it. i will accept it, and make the best of it and achieve inner peace. om.
augh fuck it.

i will not talk about it anymore unless somebody brings it up. hah, that's much more..do-able. there's no way i can promise myself not to dwell on it because after 15 or so years living with myself, i have learnt that it is impossible for me to control my brain.
i'll 'will' one thing but it'll never stay on that one focused spot. oh no, my brain will drift off and start spouting irrational stuff that strangely, manages to be related to the topic in a minut way. hence my digressing when it comes to writing lit essays.
and if i 'command' one thing, like 'iZ! don't do so and so' my brain will start arguing with itself and go why not? what will happen if i so and so? why does it matter? why do i care? am i being stupid for caring? i don't give a fuck! augh, iZ that sounds so teen-angsty! get over it you immature arse! but hey,i have the right to be immature - if not now, when else?

my brain has a mind of its own. wahahahaha.
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http://www.barcodeart.com/art/yourself/yourself.html

go, it's really interesting! lol.
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i don't feel like going to school tomorrow.

yes, i have decided. tomorrow shall be Izyanti Day. i shall not go to school, have a nice leisurely breakfast at McD and find a nice library [mosy likely the Esplanade's] and study. yes, study.
it's not the schoolwork that bothers me nowadays, it's the environment. i just want to get away from the chaos tht manages to be humdrum and mundane at the same time. i want to be alone.

list of stuff to do:
- finish lit essay
- cover the entire chapter on history
- finish history essay
- catch up on social studies?
- cover speed of reaction?

yes. i will do that tomorrow.
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i cant decide what blogskin to change to.

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