yeeaaaaaaargh!

i wanted to blog on the complete fun-osity that i had with my friends on Saturday night yesterday but the Emotion of Euphoria that it caused has since dissipated.

*weeps in a corner*

it's back to reality. i woke up on sunday morning not sure whether the last night actually happened. this happens a lot to me actually - sometimes, esp when i'm still groggy from sleep, i can confuse what actually had happened and what i actually dreamed because my dreams are really [and at times, uncomfortbly] to close to reality.

it was such a Bimbo Night! complete self-indulgence. everybody looked so gorgey. it was so giddy.

*sighs*
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the reason why i didn't apply fpr councillorship was cuz i couldn't think of a credible reason WHY i wanted to be one. and now i'm facing the same question again because my mum isnt exactly enthusiastic about me helping out for CAP04 as alumni. bleh.
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stress often leads me to being in denial.

absolute proof would be teachers/parents/Authoritarian Figures asking me how i'm doing in [fill in here] and i will beam and nod enthusiastically nod saying "fine, fine! i've got it all planned out and under control. i know what i'm doing, don't you worry." when actually, i really have no clue and am screaming because of whatever angsty burned that's piling on me.

the bad thing is, i'm actually quite convincing at it. i'll pull of the whole facade only for it to crack when it's conveniently, too late. then you'll see me all stoned and glazed-eyed.

meltdown.

it's really quite a self-destructive path.
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sometimes i think i talk too much.

do i?
i suppose it can really be an annoying habit.

i notice that all the girls who are successfully attached are the sweet and quiet ones. yadda yadda yadda, what does this prove?

but i don't think i can ever bear shutting up. what really is the point?
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i still cannot stand Tata Young and i find it appalling as well that people msg during American Idol saying how John Stevens is boring and he makes them sleep. again, this proves that a good portion of teenagers here have NO taste in music since they prefer *gags* tata young and the maunfactured predictability of taiwanese boybands.

it is absolutely shameful.

tata young! really!
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words of the day: dwall. south african origin, it means daze
vacuity lack of intelligence