gripes and stuff.

grk.

i don't think it's very fair when my relatives draw attention to my non-ability of speaking malay and make fun of it. they call me 'proud' when i speak english, as if i think malay is low-class and that i've forgotten my race.

it's not fair because it feels as if THEY are the ones looking down at me, their the ones condemning me.
it's shitty and i hate it.
and i do NOT think malay is low-class or anything of that sort. it's not that i INTENTIONALLY speak english and INTENTIONALLY abandon malay. i'm just more comfortable with english and honestly, i really wish they will stop making such a big deal out of it.

you think i don't like malay? well the only bloody reason i don't like it is beacuse people like YOU highlight and emphasize my incompetence at it so EXCUSE me, if i've associated my resentment with the word "malay".
this has NOTHING to do with my race. i have NEVER wished myself to be yellow, red, or black; i am perfectly fine with my ethnicity!

and you know what else? i think malay is a great language! at it's best, the poetry sounds really fantastic and yeah, i do find it sad that hey, i don't understand shit. but i will NEVER voice out my self-disappoinment because of people like YOU and until you stop discriminating against people like me.

huh. the English don't neccesarily speak good English either so fuck you.

and it's not only them [esp. during the dreaded Family Events] but generally other people as well. they find my incompetence VERY kindly put, funny.
i am /not/ being over-sensitive ok. i can sense their disdain when they consider my incompetence at "my own mother tongue". and it's not as if it's chinese, which is difficult.

malay, hah!

it's supposed to be an easy subject! huh.
how can you SUCK at malay? huh.

fuck you all.

that is why i shall not excuse myself for gloating when i hear about new JC students complaining that [read today's Gen Y section in The Straits Times] they can't fit in because everybody speaks english there. i shall shamelessly gloat as they complain about why the students there don't use phrases like 'wah piang' etc and how they feel so out of place.

hah! double hah! it's payback time!

*eville glint in eye* now you know how I feel you fuckers.
yes, please continue to snicker at my awkward malay and please, do continue sniggering at my 'excessive' use of english words.

i shall wait for you to go to JC and then, i shall go and snicker/snigger in your face while stomping on your "new-branded-sneakers-because-i'm-in-JC-now".

hah. and double fucking hah!