My Apologies.

i am sorry for being neurotically unstable.
i am sorry for dragging you with me down this rollercoaster ride.
i am sorry for expecting you to stick by me; i know you have other things to do.
i am sorry for being pissed at you ven though i DO know i have no reason to
i am sorry for having you to bear with my intense and irrational mood swings.
i am sorry now for being in your life. maybe it's better without.
i am sorry for pulling you down with me.
i am sorry for resenting you because you don't understand and yes, i know you never will.
i am sorry for being here.
i am sorry that you see me and yet, you do not.
i am sorry that people have to read this post and realize what an arse i really am.
i am sorry that you will realize that i am NOT bubbly and i am NOT going to be trotting off to Tellytubbland on a glittery rainbow anytime soon.

Hear me world!
i am sorry.

now please, fuck off.
_____________________________

everytime i go through a Period [no- i'm not talking about menstruation here], it's like a rock drops into my..heart? soul? whatever. it just weighs me down. then i get better, i get back up again. but with each Period, it gets harder and harder to get up and pretend that i'm ok. that i'm fine.
with each rock, it just gets easier to crumple into a heap on the dirty, gritty floor and continue life from there.

i've never been fine. i've never been ok.
it's even more....painful? that people have always thought that i was. painful because i managed to convince them that i am alright. it's quite funny really.
i'm neurotic. unstable. i sway from being psychopathic and being sociopathic.

i would throughly understand if people..step away.

dare you step into thy world? 'tis not a pretty place.

and don't, DON'T tell me that other people go through the same pressures and stress and that they manage to stay upright and that their ok and that their perefectly fine.
i already feel pathetic enuff.






*i think, i'll just go find a nice hole to crawl in and wait for the world to end. yes; that shall be my..motivation.