i am a compulsive blogger.

 
dammit, i'm addicted to blogging. it's become part of my routine and you know me. i don't usually like routines imposed on me, but when I'M the imposer, i have, NEED to keep to it. lol.
i sign online, open my msn, check my mail, check the madcap yahoogroup, blog-hop and THEN i blog. ..and mebbe afterwards random surfing.

yes.


ANYWAY.

i think i had my first hysterical episode today. *gigglescries*
i came home, to find my mum had put away my art piece and rested it by the wall and it was SLUMPING. i squeaked because argh! card bent! than i looked closer and i SCREAMED. you see, it's watercolour paper mounted on thick card and the paper's kinda heavy because of the paint/starch gloop i had plopped on it SO the paper was like coming unattached and i
FREAKED.

i really fucking freaked.

i was really PISSED because she moved it [which was not so bad] but THEN, my dad was like 'oh it's all your fault. who ask you? you should have known how the paer wouldn't have stuck on. it's all your fault. you know the mounting glue wasn't strong enuff' etc.

now THT realling fucking peeved me off. first of all, it was HIM ystd who was all lecture-y and all-knowing and glued it together for me and the way he said it was ALL my fault. hello?? if somebody had not rested it that way and left it FLAT on the fucking floor to dry the way i left it ystd, things wouldn't have turned out so bad would it??

and THEN, my mudder was like 'oh, just re-do lah, no big deal. don't over-react, besides, you haven't doen much anyway'.

ARGH!

my heart BLED ok??? this is the first piece in TWO years tht i akshulli knew and had control over what was going on. the first piece that i knew what i wanted to do and she JUST BRUSHED IT OFF like it was so trivial!

ARGH!

she didn't see the value in it! she has forgotten tht you can NEVER draw the same thing exactly twice. it's impossible. even if you TRACE it out, the certain...spark is missing. GONE.

i was so pissed.

while i was talking to her, SHE got annoyed with me because she felt i was over-reacting. ok fine, i was spluttering and VERY emotional but that is NOT over-reacting ok?? i was reacting the way i bloody well should when one of my art thingys is destroyed! meh.
it was then i got my hysterical episode. i was just so INFURIATED that she just did not GET the significance/importance that my tears evolved into those sobbing things with gasping LAUGHTER.

freaky.

it freaked her out as well.

pah, but at least she finally grasped how upset i akshulli was.








my heart BLED ok??