Monday, February 09, 2004

Voluntary Absentism Strikes Again!!

 
*listening: Meant to Live; Switchfoot*

didn't go to school today but hah! because i'm recuperating from my cold. feeling muchos better.
you know, i could totally handle a 4-day week, 3-day weekend. it really suits me.

i suppose im very self-indulgent. i like listening to songs like 'love is here' [starsailor] and 'lost' [skin] because their very....melancholic. it sort of drags me down into this zone that's quiet, contemplative and achingly poignant. it releases me from the layers that i put on during the day. like a really invigorating shower, i feel REAL. and i actually start feeling, noticing more subtle emotions and making observations that i don't usually allow myself to make.

..and it's from this zone that i can sway dangerously from reaching a temporay nirvana and falling into depression.

hmm.

but i don't think i could go on living without feeling you know? i went through a period of numbness where i just shut down, insulated myself. it was kinda self-destructing i realize now. funny, now i can sorta laugh at it but back then..whoo!

im a 'feeling' kinda person. emotional, sometimes overly so.

each and every emotion is significant and in someway, precious to me. i don't think i could live without. that is why, if you were to tell me the world would be ending tomorrow, my only regret would be that i've never been in love before.




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