euchy

..i haven't blogged it what feels like ages. probably cuz ive been feeling pretty crappy. you know the vicious cycle when you stay up to do work and feel more tired then when you take a anooze to catch up on sleep debt, ur work piles up even more? then you stay up even later and end up feeling even more tired?

*sighs*

and it does horrid things for the immune system. i just got better froma bout of cold and i'm currently sick AGAIN. and when you're sick, ur work piles up even MORE.

i should have realized someting wasn't right when i felt queasy after eating those instant noodles and when i took a nap and was SO tired that though my mind awoke, i couldn't open my eyes. geez, that never happened before.

so i'm buried underneath a pile of work and the pile is getting uncomfortably dusty and heavy. argh.
_____________________________

i spent the very much hyped-up V-Day with a nice metal tin destined to be filled up with coins. we went in the morning and went to FOUR different wet markets. the people at Limbang [Yew Tee] were the most grumpy and Gombak was the most generous. funny how they were more willing to part with $2 notes than the people i met at Orchard last year.

i noticed a funny thing. there are SO many people out there complaining of datelessness that i'm pretty sure the majority of people here ARE without dates so WHO CARES? if there are that many people spending the day alone, it means you're not alone because you're particularly pathetic etc. you're just like the majority out there. lol.

does that make it better?

maybe not. but hey, wouldn't you rather spend it alone/with friends than go out with somebody you have to pretend you're at LEAST interested in? merp, just give me a nice load of candy and some good movies and i'm happy.

you know, it could be that. the candy i mean. the reason/cause of my stomach upset.
too many Hershey Kisses, lollies, various choccies and candies ingested in one single day.

oh welly well.
_____________________________

i am disturbed.

i have this friend who's not really a friend. people and i suppose she herself think we are good friends but i don't like her. she can be a total bitch sometimes and i've recently been keeping away from her for obvious reasons. but i've always said that though i strongly dislike her most of the time, if she needs me i would be there for her.

she comes from an...abusive family background. so i do feel protective of her sometimes. i understand why she all these negative character traits and what caused them and i DID endure them for a looong time. but then i realized that I don't deserve having to go through all her bitchiness. right?

well, ANYWAY. she's been putting herslef into a very dangerous situation recently and knowing her, she will continue doing so until something really drastic and HORRID happens and i don't want to see her learn her lesson the hard way.

the thing is, i'm not supposed to know. [yes, thank the ever-present grapevine.]

but i feel OBLIGED to say something, to help her before her acts of complete stupidity ruin her life.

and i also know that whatever i say would simply bounce off her but i have to at least try.

right?

because if something /does/ happen {touch wood}, i know i will end up blaming myself and wishing i had done something instead of being the casual observer. *shudders* i don't think i could bear seeing her life ruined when she has so much potential by raging, rash and unci\ontrollable hormones. i NEED to help her.

even if she doesn't want it.