[aura:tired and stinky.]
didnt get in to the mentorship programme thang. im ok i suppose. i kinda expected it so when i received the news [at 5 something in the morning no less], i was quite ok. but THT was because i um, was half-asleep. it only really dawned upon me on the way to school in the bus..but still im fine. it wasn't my best work and if that's my standard, well yeah.
i suppose i was harbouring a bit of.....pissy-offyness because i DID have several short outbursts lamenting the rejection to my clueless and unfortunate friends.
my reaction to events that upset me is pretty unstable. i'm mostly quiet and i sub-consciously throw myself into work for distraction. so all is calm in the surface then BOOM. my outburst, a very loud, fast rattling of whatver is upsetting me and woe betide to teh person on the receiving end. cuz it can get very LOUD and i speak vERY fast so i end up sounding like a hyperactive, upset squirrel on caffeine. lol. a tad embarassing though cuz ppl tend to stare.
pay no attention to my title. its just a phrase that ran through my head the whole day, esp when i was facing my art teacher, my supposed "empty" folio and blank giant paper. shit.
i don't know why, but my teacher has this aura that just makes you want to seek his approval. and he's not mean..he's a nice old uncle who jokes with us etc. oh well. but i figured what to do for my o level paper1 final piece. *phew* now let's just hope it turns out well.
my biggest fear: mediocrity.
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