i want to be alone; and yet like all humans, i don't.

something that might never happen: me making up my mind on what i want.

i think i should learn to shut up. i think at times, people get freaked out by how..."abstract" i can get. and no, we are not talking about the philosophical kind; more like "this-is-what's-in-my-head-right-now-and-yes-i-know-it's-irrelevent" kind. i think people get tired of it after awhile and that they get impatient with me and they start to think of me as a ditz who comes up with the most illogical and at times, stupid thoughts, ideas, concepts and explanations.

no? come on, tell me that you've never been "amazed" at how irrelevent i can get. Good: thinking out of the box. Bad: i'm so beyond the box that i've fallen of this dimension and landed on my arse. ouch.

nobody gets me sometimes, and i suppose THEY don't get me because there's something wrong with ME. *ponders* their normal or at least share the same plane of human-like normalcy that i obviously lost the directions to.

i feel stupid. they make me feel stupid when they a] stare at me blankly b] laugh.

yes, i very mucheth feel stupideth.

that is why, i think i would embarass myself much less if i shut up. right? it makes sense right? since i won't say anything; people i talk to won't go around thinking "wha'? this girl's nuts."

so shut up?

erm.









*really! i'm serious. the next time i feel the urge to say the things that randomly pop into my head, should i quell it and NOT say it? a niggling feeling says to hell with it and say what you want. but i do hate the blank looks and/or even worse - looks of disbelief. like i said...it makes me feel stupid.

maybe i shud go around with a "I Not Stupid" tag. you thing ol' Jack Neo would pay me for endorsing? cuz money's good.