so cold.

finally went back to school. the dread; the dread. i seriously contemplated truancy. a few steps away from entering the school and halfway through school itself.

it was bad, real bad. i was visualising how my teacher would react if i just walked out of class. didn't think it would've made much of a difference niwae since i was hardly absorbing anything. too stoned.

i think people noticed i wasn't being myself.

i finally cried. in the middle of e.maths actually. nobody noticed execpt my best freind but that was only because my head was on her lap. it felt good and painful at the same time. it was the silent choking kind..the ones that have so much coming out, that it get's all trapped up inside.
painful.

thank god for my hoodie. all i had to was put up my hood and it hides my face. yay.

i felt better bit by bit afterwards. slowly.

i'm not completely over this period but it's getting better. now that i am, i'm being more rational over why i'm upset.

i felt..broken. incomplete. and my work was snowballing because i just ceased functioning like i usually do. and when i feel like something's missing, i close up. a missing link mebbe, a short circuit somewhere.

but the cause of it still remains. something's missing in my life. a spark of some sort. i seem to have lost it somewhere along the line and i need it. but i don't know what it is and i don't know where to find it. and i need it.

i'm incomplete.