a rather irksome day.

hell, what's not to like about it? it's june and i've been [rightfully] programmed to accept that june days equals to NO SCHOOL but instead - yeargh, in school i was and there was no food in the canteen so we had to trek our way to the 7-11 which is like a *gasp* whopping 3-minutes distance away. but still, in the sun! and the sure way to make me grumpier is having proper food being taken away from me. cup noodles is NOT food. its starch and a whole lotta preservatives and MSG temporarily filling my stomach to fool it into thinking that my appetite has been well-satiated.

i was also annoyed because during the 3 hour or so slotted for us to work on our social studies, my friends were basically just chatting around after they did half of their assignment..it wasnt that they were disturbing me with their chatter its just that maan, since we're here, let's do some work! AND I'M BEING CONCERNED FOR YOU THAT'S WHY I'M NAGGING DON'T BE A DOOFUS BY THINKING YOU'LL START NEXT WEEK AND YOU'RE JUST TAKING A BREAK AFTER THE EXAMS AND YES I'M TALKING TO YOU AND DON'T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A STIFF WET BLANKET FOR NAGGING YOU I AM JUST BEING CONCERNED OR WOULD YOU RATHER I LEAVE YOU ALONE?

*phew*

i actually want me As; don't you?

i am so sick of being a chronic underachiever and i miss the days in primary school when i used to excel in EVERYTHING i did with minimal effort [okaaay, fine - except malay. but hey, that was in p6!]

i want to see my straight As agaaain. i miss the comfort that even if im not socially-ept, i've got proof that *snerk* i'm smart.
i know i can do sooo much better but i'm not. you know, i could have just wasted my past few years in secondary life...have i?
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recently it's become more apparent to me that i find chinese chatter rather..annoying. maybe i've been more tense or am pms-ing but yeah well. at first, i couldnt find the rationality beneath the slight pissy offy-ness that rises each time i hear it but i think i know now.

hearing it [especially when i'm already pissed] only serves to remind me how i've never been really able to fit into the social system in school and how being strangely monolingual, i am in a sense, a pariah.
a misfit.
it only serves to remind me that if /only/ i was in a different environment [hmm. i'm thinking of a 3-letter acronym that rhymes with 'tap'] i could be so much happier maybe and how i'm stuck in such a cheena environment and this really really irks me.

oh welly welly well, another angsty grouse. sorray~