no title today:

yesterday, i went to my primary schoolfriend's BBQ and it was essentially, a recipe for perfect Social Awkward-ity Disaster.

*sighs*

i met up with a bunch of them at the mrt station before we headed of and this guy who was an ex-classmate was all alarmed and eyebrows raised and went "you've changed" except because it was in malay, i ddn know whether he was actually talking to me or making a comment to himself which in turn, left me feeling really weirded-out and not knowing how to react so panicpanicpanic it set the tone for the rest of the evening.

it's kinda expected, i just don't happen to speak the lingua franca ie. malay.

you know when it really hit me that i had just wasted a good 3hours of my life there? later on, safely back in front of the computer at home that i call my hermit cave, i was talking to my friends on MSN and was having more fun.

that is just like, warped.
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you know where's my favourite spot in the world currently in this phase of my life?
my bed.

i never thought it would ever come to this but it has. i go home drained after school and climb up to my bunk into the cool soft comfort of my pillows and blanket. its like this nest that beckoons me to curl in and just sleep. i honestly go "gawd, where the hell have YOU been for the whole day?" each time i settle in.

maybe im reliving my um, pre-birth comforts..though i bet that my mother's womb didnt have feather quilts, mwaha.

i wonder whether if i ask them nicely, the school would let me smuggle in pillows into a corner and let me borrow a gym mat or something..or not.

bah, humbug.





when i'm rich, i'll have a king-size four-poster featherbed with linen gauze drapings, inch-thick carpet, LOTS of giant bean bags littered around the house, a room full of cds and another full of books, a kitchen stocked with candy from all over the world and an amazing chef, a studio, and and in the backyard giant inflatable jumping/bouncing castle!

oh oh how i miss jumping in those castles. it was always such hilarious giddy FUN. nothing really can substitute the heady, off-balance, delirious, out-of-breath feeling that you get when you're hysterically laughing so hard and bouncing from here to there to everywhere and you feel that your stomach HAS to be contorted into knots and when you finally reluctantly get off, your knees are like jelly and the cement ground feels light like foam -

gawd i sure miss those days.