Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I have malay eyes
a malay nose
a malay mouth
chinese eyelashes
chinese boobs*
malay height
malay hair
and a malay bum.



*Seriously though, most malay boobs I've seen are huge. There was this girl I saw once poured into a tank top and the tops of her boobs were jiggling. Like, how is that?

I will never know.

But! Speaking of racial compartmentalization.

Do you know that it really does aggravate me seeing mainly chinese/oriental women in ads, or in articles touting asians as the next big thing in fashion and modelling?

Because then, I mentally go: O hey I'm asian but I don't look like that!

It is just a small, disquieting feeling when you supposedly don't fit into the minority group that you always had identified yourself with, because you then realize how much of a minority you are in the minority group itself. Very odd, but part and parcel.

And then there's the whole representation of female asian beauty being exemplified by tall willowy oriental girls, which sure, did a lot of good for me in my angsty, not-so-stable esteem days of being 15 years old.

Which! I suppose in retrospect, might answer why in Sec 3/4 I found myself distancing a little from Charmaine because I think being with her constantly made me feel a little uncomfortable with me being and looking different. Who knew right? Ah the uncomfortable perspective that history offers.

Not an issue now though, so don't get all up in arms. I am cool and chillin' in my own skin.

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