Famous Last Words: "but it's the only shred of me left in this..this..costume!"

i was talking about my yellow zip ear stud which i might add, was only there because i couldn't find my more inconspicuous one in the morning.

what happened was that yesterday, was rmun day. i was therefore in the blazer's skirt+shirt combo when the principal [i snort in derision and complete dislike when i say this] gave me the typical head to toe scan and was greatly horrified by said stud.

this is despite the fact that otherwise, i was PERFECTLY in order.

and so, in her typical fashion, she over-reacts. here, i admit that i was in the wrong but apparently, she does not want to hear that from me either!

she completely pooh-ed all my um, i suppose, apologetic placating. and if there's one thing i should know by now, is that no adult when in a strop wants to handle a teenager seemingly more calm and collected than it.
this behavior seems to offend them greatly as it perhaps, makes them feel..inadequate. and here i say this not only referring to her inadequacy as a *snerk* principal but also in all principles, as a normal person with a normal capacity for logical thought.

by this time, my torso seemed to have been replaced by lead because never EVER have i felt it so heavy. i knew what was coming of course, that ruthless idiot.

she did not want me to be in rmun.

one word: flabbergasted.

it was horrid. all my hard work and effort just gone KA-PUT. just because, again, she wants to use me as an example. does 'suspension for doodling on the table in pencil' ring a bell?

ooh deja vu.

and i felt even worse cuz i knew this time, for sure, it was completely and irreversibly My Fault and the WORSE thing is that it was over something so trivial.
i felt like stabbing my heart over and over and over and over..well, you get the drift.

to mildly put it actually, i was distraught. how do you define this feeling? let's see, a crumbling of every shred of hope.

she hates me, i'm sure of it.

i hate her, with much passion.

for the first time in my life, i actually felt an painfully sincere wish that it was all a nightmare and that yes, oh please god, let me wake up! but yeah well, it wasn't. besides, my nightmares are always freaky, not the unreasonable ocurring in reality.

so there i was, [shall not describe my state] in the classroom when charmaine and matthew came up to me to tell me his Great Plan.

i was - am, shocked.

almost awed.

i didn't know you had it in you, you diabolical thing! i was almost..disturbed at his EAGERNESS to uh, blackmail. don't deny it, and pretti-fy with more tactful terms, you KNOW what it was lol.

he was all hermione-on-a-mission and we went around the school like an inverse Trio with me shifty-eyed and going 'are you sure you know what you're doing? what if it backlashes?', 'i don't think he knows what he's doing charmaine', 'this is the PRINCIPAL, the ultimate, ruthless uber-hitler - are you SURE? she'll end up hating you too you know!'

such an act, so fiend-ish; and to the principal no less! i am so proud of you *beams*. i didn't know you actually had a smidge of actual Eville in you -

too bad you didn't actually get to commit the act because the principal had gone out and ms. tay managed to settle it with a whole chunk load of persuasion.

technically, as punishment, i wasn't supposed to wear the blazer or speak to represent the school. hmm. *snerk*

i thank you all *sniffs* for standing by me; charmaine, matthew, my team [even though im not q sure whether you meant what you said to mrs.j] and everybody who gave me hugs and asked me whether i was okay, even though i was clearly not, I LOVE YOU ALL.



you know, it is rather symbolic that i got nearly pulled out of rmun because of such a thing. no doubt it was an abuse of her power, and unreasonable at that. but still. it seemed to prove to me that there is no compromise in real life. i have NOT been getting into trouble and generally, i think improved a whole lot conduct-wise compared to last year. and yet, over such a TRIVIAL matter, she doesn't even recognize my attempt at reforming.

therefore, it leads me to one question: what IS the point?
they won't even leave me a shred of individuality. no allowances given. i want to scream, you can't do this to me! but of course, they can.

i wish they would just leave me be.

i mean, one of the chung cheng guys yesterday had an EAR STUD on. pfft. AND, he was on the student's council in one of the leadership roles. how cool is that? i wish i was there...-wait, it's a guys school isn't it?

today, as we were on the way out of school, we went pass the uniform groups practising the marching [pointless] and being yelled at by their seniors [pointless AND masochistic] and i couldn't help but yell "uniform groups are organizations of brainwashing!". huh, their a microcosm of our school itself; how very apt.

you may say that, hey it build discipline and uh, team spirit! it cultivates a strong bond between the students! true, i cannot deny. but you can't deny either that what I say is tru as well. and that in addition to the mass brainwashing, there's a hell lot of unhealthy politics as well.

it is the introduction of the concept and practice of bureaucracy and heirachy.

the corruption of the generally simple and innocent mind of 12 year olds. *sighs* i hope my siblings and kids in the future will never have an inclination for such activities.







i am also very very smug to add that hah, hitler told mrs.j that she didn't want to talk to me because i have the habit of being able to talk myself [her exact words were 'twist words'] out of this kind of shit.

i say, I HOPE YOU DIE LONELY [WELL, YOU'RE ALREADY UGLY] AND HATED [quite taken care of] AND THAT THE MOE SACKS YOU CUZ THEY FINALLY REALIZE YOUR INCOMPETENCY YOU FROCKER. I HOPE THAT AT LEAST ONCE IN YOU LIFE, YOU WILL HAVE THE OPPURTUNITY TO BE CHASED BY AN ANGRY MOB CARRYING POINTY OBJECTS AND HAH FLAME-THROWERS! IF YOU'RE KEEN, DO CALL ME. I'LL ORGANIZE ONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

I HOPE YOU HAVE A MISERABLE LIFE SHIRLEEN ONG.

DIE! JUST DIE!!