if i'm not careful, this blog is going to turn into one of those SCHOOL-CENTERED ANGSTY WHINING BITCH-FESTS that are so dreary to read.





but it's true laaaaa. i'm so pissed at everything, at this moment right now that you know what would help? Marks & Spencer's milk chocolate buttons that don't melt into a squishy coagulated lump. this, can also be substituted by a volunteer who i willing to be bitch-slapped/shin-kicked by me - so yes, the line starts here, please take a number.

guh!

what is overwhelmingly pissy-offy is that today, was My First Day of Proper School, and it was just horrid. although to be fair, any day is horrid when you've only had THREE FRIGGIN HOURS OF SLEEP.

but you know, to make myself sound less shallow-whiner, i shall pick a Scapegoat to vent my Undirected Angst. today's goat will be: MINAHS.

it's not that i'm just picking on them because i'm senselessly pissed off at nothing okay, it's this thing that has been hovering in my head since monday, and has left me quite perturbed. what happened was that took a cab ride on that afternoon, and Mr. Cabdriver was one of the particularly chatty ones.

so it started out as a conversation about the Importance of Education (i was on the way to school) and how educated people (he said one, not me arh) simply behave differently. somewhere along the line, it got racial, and we, or actuallyhe, went on about the different kinds of malays that he meets as a cabdriver.

he talked about the malay girls that he picks up from boat quay, post-clubbing, and was very hung up on how drunk they were, how young they were, how skimpily they dressed, their tattoos and how that in their drunkeness, they'd sit by the roadside in their short skirts, exposing their pantaloons for all to see.

and all i could do was sit there and squirm, because well, it's true. these stupid friggin minahs are completely without dignity and shame that even the common taxi-driver you know, well, HE KNOWS. it's terribly embarassing to have this low-life pond scum ruining the perception of malays.

i know i'm being very harsh, but i am just so pissed with them.

note: why am i not so pissed with the mats, i don't know. maybe because personally (no offense random reader who might be a malay guy), i've found that generally, malay guys are just dumb. NOT ACADEMICALLY mind you, it's just totally different mindset and wavelength. if i wasn't in such a crappy mood, i'd bother to think up of a better and more apt adjective, but i can't so bear with it.

come on, think about it. when you hear the word malay, what's your first response? i don't know about you, but geez! i think, mats and minahs because they are the dominating demographic in our racial culture. its crap-shit, but damn it's true. which is why i've given up being annoyed with people like bern who call me a minah because oh my god, i wear emo-glasses and am *gasp* malay. automatically, it's easy to assume that because i share a physical resemblance, i am one of the flock.

you give a chinese person emo-glasses, and he's funky, or uh well. emo. i shop/dress with a sub-conscious effort not to look like a bloody friggin minah, because you know, huge disadvantage that i already share the same skin colour. fuck that man.

but that's not the point here. what is hugely disturbing is that it is THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND. and this is juxtoposed with the politically correct assumption that malays are conservative, mild-mannered and religious enough to bear the discomfort of a headscarf in this bloody weather. the disparity is just so - on particularly bad days, mortifying.

friggin pond scum.


the strange thing of course, is that while i may sound like a moralizing bitch right here and now, i hardly belong to the opposite camp of staunchly religious malays. they're okay, but my peeve with them is how easily they accept what they are told. and sadly, i more than occasionally disagree with what i'm being told, because (and it doesn't have to do with god here), certain things are man-made, and we all know humans are fallible and flawed. i hate dogma.

but that's another rant, for another day.