i cannot believe that i am so naive to be still in disbelief that my handphone got stolen.

there are many things wrong with me, in this sense. i came home straight and stoned in front of the tv for what, about 5 hours. there goes all the studying i did in the library haha. let's make a list, whee.

What's Wrong With Me

- how idiotic can i be to leave my handphone (in my pencil case) while i go to the loo for FIVE FRIGGIN MINUTES. i just needed to shit, and came back with my phone GONE. and it's not even a the newestest-new model. oh god i feel so stupid. the horrid thing of course, is that i completely deserve it. one, because i was dumb enough to let my guard down. listen kiddies, the LIBRARY is a dangerous dangerous place. two, it's karmic retribution! for being momentarily bitchy, and and not being a nice person, and i'm still not brave enough to declare to the whole online world why i am such an imperfect person. bring on the fire and brimstone.

- and yet, i cannot help but blame (a little) the people who were sitting JUST beside me. HOW COULD THEY NOT NOTICE SOMEONE DIPPING THEIR HANDS INTO MY PENCIL CASE, that's what i want to know. stupid ajc geeks engrossed in their c maths. and yes, that comment is absolutely uncalled for, and i really don't mean it just let me rant okay. and no, they weren't the ones who took it. the security guy checked them - and i felt so so so horrid for putting them through that. harmless group of fellow muggers. hah I kept apologizing through the whole thing, that's the irony.

- i hate the fact that i bear a significant portion of the blame.

- and me, being completely anal, i'll link a lot of seemingly random things to today's Incident. for example, i will never be able to wear the shirt i'm wearing, or listen to the thrill's Deckchairs and Cigarettes without linking it to today. i cannot help it, i am stupid.

- the stupidly ironic thing is that while walking to the lrt on th eway to the library, i realized i forgot to bring my handphone. and i actually paused, and dithered whether i should walk aaaaaaall the way back, in the drizzle, to get my phone. and i did, for the logical reason of staying contactable. see kiddies, this is a Lesson In Which Being Logical Does Not Pay. if i had not gone back, i wouldn't have had it with me during the short duration at the library and mother dearest would me mildly angry, but if i had gone back, like i did, then mother dearest would be very angry (as she is) and AND, my phone would be with me (as i wish it were).

- and i cannot help but think ridiculous thoughts like, "see i should have stayed home and slacked. this is all because you went out to STUDY - what does this mean? next time, just STAY HOME." and "who asked you to be so geekily enthusiastic, studying in APRIL, pre-emptively reviewing all the econs notes and what-shit. mugging is bad.", anything to avoid the fact that it's my fault. i was mugged while mugging! sorry, i know, tis lame. bear with me.

- i just really really want my phone back. i can't even think about getting a replacement because i am just so caught up in uh, grief. IT IS TRUE. i just want MY phone back. all the contacts, and the funny pictures and videos. all the ones with charmaine being vainpotty and chinese new year@cjc and My First Ever X-Country and the 100Plus Endorsement video and nyiaaargh.




















i feel positively miserable.