things that i need to learn:

a) not to blog when you don't have much to say actually
b) not to procrastinate (malay and gp homework augh aaaaaugh)
c) not to procrastinate by blogging.

also, i need to figure out why i do not have much to say when actually, there is. so much that i want to say, and i suppose i'm waiting for the right time and the right person - so obviously this blog, as much as i try to keep it a honest representation of myself, it is not the avenue.

how strange.

i am not used to this feeling of keeping things to myself, what i used to do was to wear my heart (auugh cliche alert!) on my bloody sleeve. what makes this whole thingy even more..odd is the paradoxical nature of this situation. its a tad frustrating and sad i guess that i don't think there is anybody who completely understands me at this current period of time (unlike, well, last time lah) and on the other hand, there's this almost bitter smugness that smirks oh hah you think you know me so well, pbbt.

i am guessing that the lattar voice belongs to my inner, marginal but still significant, misanthrope.

oh but i should be so happy! that's what i realize everytime i sink into these melancholic musings. also, shut up yanti shut up! but then again, despite every other positive-ish thing that i'm going through, i cannot help but dwell on a certain issue that really lah, it unsettles me. it leaves me uneasy and i'm not sure what to do, and the thing is, i think that the resolution, if it exists, it has to come from myself.

i wish she would talk to me. there, i said it.

on a lighter note - and a sigh of relief choruses from the readers! i went to sentosa with 1t01 today, twas fun. DID NOT GET BURNT --> this is good, it means i have learnt my lesson and therefore, am not completely dense =) the water was really pretty today, very aquamarine. i wonder why, natasha says that hoohoo maybe they put in chlorine in the water but nyiaaaargh sentosa is not /that/ artificial right? right. but you know, the day's weather was perfect, the water was beautiful, we were missing a tedious and painfully tiring looooong day in school - things were going so well! how can this be? i'll tell you why:

the water today had a lot of those itty-bitty sea critters that bite/sting you and it really hurts! grk. they are normally around, yes i know, and i'm not a softie okay. today's onslaught of these naaaaaaaaasty plankton was exceptionally bad. we're swimming to the platform or just floating around and we'd be like, ow. ow. swim faster - ow. ow. maybe it was the high tide, because i think the last time it was half as bad, i was swimming in the morning as well. stupid plankton. why are they so meaan? ruined the first bit of swimming *rowr* had red bumps on spots where they bit me.

maybe it's the plankton's way of saying: hah you bunch of naked apes! though we're small, we can still cause alotta pain, take that you buggers! or, maybe it liked aaaaugh new theory! candice's sunblock. maybe. most of us were using her's, and it's the kind that smells really yummy and tasty - at least, it did to me. it smelt edible! like wonderfully, artificially flavoured bubblegum =)

you know, i think having a three-day work week really agrees with me. last week, i skipped wednesday, and we didn't have school on friday. this week, monday and tuesday. i feel much more calm. hmm, seemingly. actually, am quite niggled by the thought of all the missed lessons, and uh, facing my malay teacher. *nods sadly* it's my Inner Hermione. she just refuses to go away, and with the relative success of the O's, she been nagging not to be complacent. pbbt, i say.

aiya i can't keep this semblance of whimsical rambling up anymore. i'm sad today, despite yes, i had fuuuuuuuun at sentosa and candice's, which uh, makes me feel quite guilty for (is it?) this indulgence. but i am. pbbt!